Taco Bell

There is a commercial I saw the other day that starts with a man looking intently into the camera and demanding more of life, not satisfied with the status quo, wanting more then what the world has previously offered, and this man was willing to do something about it. Then he orders a taco at Taco Bell. It made me laugh, but it also made me very very sad. I see this exact mentality all over. In the news there are riots for no particular reason, on the streets there are kids getting into trouble, in the smoke pit at the high school they are telling stories of rebellion from the weekend before. This generation is feeling restless. They want something to fight for because they are....bored. Rebels without a cause. I have good news! I have a cause you can fight for! For peace and justice in this world. Fight for love and equality! Fight for safe streets! Fight for our elderly that are being forgotten! Fight for the unfortunate! "Defend the cause of the weak and the Fatherless, maintain the rights of the poor and the opressed, rescue the week and the needy and deliver them from the hand of the wicked."Psalms 82:3 We were never meant to stay idle. We were not made to live without work or war. But let us choose carefully what we war against. Injustice? Or burgers?

except me

I've heard all of the following statements in the past month. I live in this constant state of not-counting. I find it kinda funny.
"I hate christians. Well, except you Carmen."
"I have nobody to talk to. Except you."
"Nobody really understand me, except you Carmen."
"Expect for you, I don't have any friends. And it's your job to hang out with me."
"The whole world is made up of selfish morons, well, except for you of course."
"Nobody cares about me." I give them a look. "Ok, well except for you."
"She asked me to keep all that a secret, and I have. I haven't told a soul." I think to myself, huh, apparently I don't have a soul.

closet christian

One of my girls who has given me a lot of joy in the past few months, as she has allowed me a front row seat to her walk with God, had something very profound to say. I had just asked her what her relationship with God looked like right then, and she said, "You know those shoes you have that are really special? They make you feel amazing when you wear them, and when you have a bad day you go home and put them on and wear them around the living room? Or it can turn a bad morning into a good day when you decide to wear them out and about even though they are way to fancy for the occasion? When you put them on, they make you feel great, then you put them lovingly away in your closet. You shut the door and they stay in there until you need them again. Every once in a while you open up your closet and look at them, smile, and then shut the door again. That's what my relationship with God is right now." When I asked her what she wanted her relationship with God to look like, she said "I want to wear those shoes everyday everywhere!"
What a great answer. This answer coming from a little baby newborn christian can challenge the rest of us old farts. Let's all wear our "God-shoes" proudly!

I keep a rock in my purse

I keep a rock in my purse to remind me that people heal.
Back in October I sat on a beach with a young person I care for very much. She was very upset and with good reason. Life deals a different set of cards to everyone, but this girl got bombs instead of cards. Or something like that. We talked and cried together that day on the beach and continued to do that for months but in coffee shops as the weather had turned to.. well, winter. During spring break the two of us took advantage of the returning good weather and went back to that same beach. This time there was a beautiful rainbow and this girl was smiling and saying things like "I'm happy now." It was wonderful. As we sat there throwing rocks into the river I marvelled at the contrast from the last time we were there. People get better. People are resilient.
So I keep a rock in my purse to remind me during those long winter days, that the rainbow will come.

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ... | Video on TED.com

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ... | Video on TED.com
This is a beautiful piece of poetry if you have a few minutes.

sometimes that's enough

I don't always have the answers, but I often don't need them. I'm reading a book called "The Gift of Therapy. An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients." by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D. In this book he talks about asking long term, or old patients who no longer are being treated by him, about what they found to be the most valuable part of their therapy experience. He was expecting them to recount to him epiphany moments, or great bits of wisdom he had imparted to them, or the major steps forward that they made together. Instead of receiving these answers however all of the patients said that what they valued most was their relationship with the therapist. The fact that he listened and was there for them consistently. Huh.
So I may not have the answers to the questions my teens ask me, but I am there for them to ask the question to. And maybe, sometimes, that is enough. I care for them deeply, and maybe that's all they need for healing to begin.

what should we actually be afraid of?

There was a study about fear that was printed in the New York Times back in December of 2010. It stated that the top 5 killers of teenagers were, in this order, car accidents, homicide (usually committed by someone they know.), child abuse, suicide, and drowning. What were the top five things that parents across the country said they were afraid of for their teens? Kidnapping, school snipers, terrorists, dangerous strangers, and drugs.
Our fears are misplaced. "Parents are just bad at risk management. We are constantly overestimating rare dangers and underestimating common ones" Christie Barnes author of The paranoid Parents Guide said. So instead of teaching kids to fear their own shadow when in public, we should be teaching them how to drive responsibly, how to pick good friends, to report abuse, and how to swim.
Interesting eh?