Wednesday, August 4, 2010

This is a set up?

Everyone was dealt a hand of cards when they were born. These determine family, health, wealth, safety, education opportunities, , childhood... all the parts of life that attribute to shaping you in your early years while you are innocent. You can not control these cards, they are just the ones you have.
I was dealt an amazing hand. I have fantastic parents who love me and love each other. I was taught at a young age how to trust God. The first time I had to deal with death in my life didn’t happen until I was 15, and by that time I knew how to deal with it and had a support group of friends and family there for me. I was always healthy except for one month long stint in the hospital when I was 10 for a broken leg. I grew up in Canada so I never had to wonder if a drought would come and kill us all for lack of food or water. I had free education. An amazing hand.
Many of the teens I work with were not so lucky in their cards. Many were dealt cards of sickness, poverty, alcoholic or abusive parents, stalkers, rape, suicide of close ones, violence, depression, mental illness, FAS, trauma, and a general lack of safety and innocence at a young age. Not so lucky.
So is that what it comes down to? To luck? Either you are born into a good life or you are not? I hope not. Actually I can do better then that, I know better then that. I happen to know that life is bigger then that, that there is actually more to life then that.
I met someone there other day, (yes yes, I was talking to strangers again) and she ended up telling me her life story. She grew up in a hostile environment and by age 13 was in a physically, emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with a man. She had three family members commit suicide in one year. (“The domino effect” is what we call that, and it is quite common and a nightmare for all youth workers) Today she is in her 40’s she is happy, has a wonderful husband and three beautiful children. She is passionate about youth work and is setting me up with people she thinks will be interested in supporting my work because a youth worker is why she is where she is today.
I have seen those who were dealt bad cards become inspirational fulfilled happy people. I don’t wish trauma on anyone, but I do have hope for those who have had their fill of it. This is an area of life that I have been personally struggling with over the past six months, and I do not yet have any conclusive ideas about luck and justice and God’s predestination, but I am working it over in my mind and heart a lot. Maybe life is bigger then the cards you have been dealt, but maybe it is actually that simple at the same time? In the words of Forest Gump “S!*t happens.” ??
Have any thoughts on the subject? Feel free to comment and share your heart on the matter, I would love to hear it.


  1. I think God gives us what we can handle in the hand or what he wants us to handle to deal with what he wants us to do with our lives and make us the best at what ever that is that we can be. I think it is meant to be this way when we have god to stand by us but for those who have strayed away or do not know his love to begin with it can be hard and I don't think it was ever meant to be that way for anyone

  2. Its not so much the hand we're dealt, but free will...what some adults do (addictions, bad choices etc...), unfortunately do harm to their kids.
    But God also gives those kids free will, to make better choices, to fight hard to rise above a bad choose hope...there is always hope.
    that's were you come in Carmen, and others like you.
    who knows why some are born into a bad or good situation?? just remember, even kids from a great family can make bad choices and end up on the street or struggling with addictions.