Thursday, September 16, 2010
grieving divorce, embracing freedom
"Ya, totally." She said with her eyes straining to hold back tears. Her parents are divorced now and I had just told her that I believe she and her brother are both grieving the loss of their family. Not going to school, being depressed, and being very very angry. These are all symptoms of grief. And this is sadly, very common. Grief isn't restrained to death, it is about loss. And these kids are loosing something. They are loosing Christmas, parents, an example of how an adult should act, security, attention, provision, family holidays,.. the list goes on and on. There is great loss to all involved.
So to those of you who have experienced divorce in your family, take the time to grieve. Let it out, wrestle with it, and then move on without resentment. That's the hardest part. To grieve for the loss of something so huge, and then to forgive the person who caused you so much grief.
This is hard. But it is needed. To forgive someone is to let them out of a cage, and then to realize that the one in the cage was you. To experience freedom from bitterness (which rots you from the inside out) you must give in to forgiveness. Forgive them, let them go, and you will find a freedom you didn't have before.