Carmen's Last Daze

I have news...

It’s with excited nausea in my stomach and bitter sweet tears in my eyes that I sit down to write this letter.
After I’ve poured liters of my own blood, sweat, and tears over the last 7 years for the lost youth of Langley...I’m leaving. The story could be told a dozen different ways and would all be true, but for the sake of time allow me to simply say this:

The Creator looked down on BC and His heart broke for the orphaned children He saw. Over 1000 kids in BC are in need of families to call their own. Lonely. Unwanted. Abandoned. The Great Father wanted His church to raise up and care for his lost little ones, and so he looked over the province and selected the one couple that had decided they NEVER wanted kids, and told them that He was entrusting them with his precious ones.
Yup, that’s right. Corey and I are absolutely convinced that God has commanded us to be parents to the motherless and fatherless. I feel like Mary being told she will carry the Messiah. So through a series of circumstances and bizarre “this has to be God” kind of situations, we are on a new journey. We will be moving to Kelowna where I will be pioneering a new ministry that reaches out to the orphaned youth there. After this ministry is established Corey and I plan on adopting (we are on step 6 of 14). That’s right, I’m going to be a mom.

I know - I never thought it would happen either.

I know you will all have many questions so let me answer a few. Yes, I plan on continuing in ministry even when we adopt. We will be adopting children that are currently in foster care in BC. We want the ones that are difficult to place; the older ones. 5-10 years old is our age range. And yes, you read that right...CHILDREN, not child. We are open to taking in a sibling group. This is still 1 to 3 years away because we want to become fully established and have our support groups in place before entering this adventure.

So why Kelowna? There are so many reasons and it is difficult to say one answer. It is where we want to raise our kids. It has one of the biggest homeless youth populations in BC. It is also a city that has ZERO resources for those youth. It’s become a real problem and the city is desperate for help. Corey has also been transferred and is now working as a full time paramedic in Summerland, which is only a small commute away. This I know: The need is great. Our God is greater. We are willing. He is sending us.

If all goes according to plan (at this moment we just have one more hoop to officially jump through), as of December 2015 I will be the Satellite Director of Youth Unlimited Okanagan. I will need a lot of help and support over the coming year. My aim is that every step of the way will be saturated in prayer. So please, pray for us as we go through this huge transition. We are selling everything and moving to a new city where we don’t know anyone. We are leaving behind friends, church, and family. One of my greatest losses is that I will no longer be able to work with the Langley YU team that have become like family to me. I’m terrified but trusting. I’ll send out more news later about how you can financially support this new ministry, or how you can transfer your current support from my Langley ministry to the new ministry. I’ll also provide instructions of how you can transfer your support from my ministry to the ongoing Langley ministry if that is where you want to continue investing. Leaving Langley is very difficult. When I told my teenagers they cried for two hours in the mini-bus, refusing to leave until I finally kicked them out because it was late. I’m grieving the loss of everything here yet am excited about the new thing God has for us.

Please pray that details about renting out our condo goes smoothly, the move goes well, all the right hoops get jumped through, that we find a support group when we get there, that God opens doors and makes the direction clear, and please pray for our kids. I can’t help but cry as I write this. It’s a strange feeling knowing that your kids are out there somewhere right now and that they are probably hurting. They are probably not safe. And between now and when they come to be ours they will have to go through a lot. Please pray for them, wherever they are. We love them even though we don’t know them.
Thank you for taking the time to read, pray, and give. I love you all!
I’ll keep you posted,
- Carmen Rempel

  

Training for our many volunteers! 

Who Am I?

Today I wrote an email to a group of volunteers. At the end I signed it off:

-Carmen Rempel

Momentum/Nights Alive Coordinator

I had to pause to think about this for a moment because usually I email these two groups separately. So I would sign off either Momentum Coordinator or Nights Alive Coordinator depending on whom I was communicating to. But because I was emailing both groups I combined the two titles. 

That got me thinking about all the different ways I sign off emails. All the different roles I fill.

-Carmen Rempel

Secretary of YFC Young Leader Advisory Board

or 

-Carmen Rempel

High School Youth Worker

So just for fun I decided to write out all my different roles. You can see the result below.

-Carmen Rempel

Momentum Coordinator, Nights Alive Coordinator, Youth Worker, Young Leaders Advisory Board Secretary, YFC National Board Member, Wedding Officiant, Mentor, Volunteer Coordinator, International Speaker, Lifeteams OnTheRoad worker, Special Needs Elementary School Class Volunteer, Fundraiser, Preteen Youth Ministry Coordinator

Then what about all that other stuff I do?

-Carmen Rempel

Marathon Runner, Church Member, Self-lead Theological/Philosophy Student, Wife, Classical Literature Enthusiast, God parent, Friend, Daughter, Home owner

This would all seem like too much, and at times feels overwhelming. But that’s only when I loose perspective on who I really am. I am not titles. I am not a job description. 

Primarily, above all else, I am the adopted daughter of the Most High King and I am simply on His mission to restore this world to the beautiful place of love and harmony that it once was and one day will be again. 

I know hope for the world that keeps me laughing through life today.

That’s who I am. 

I am "Adopted by hope".

A story of a kind begger who knew some things

I was 65% of the way out of my comfort zone.

Grubby clothes, damp concrete, surrounded by the noises of Main and Hastings in East Vancouver, I sat next to my good friend and classmate and was thankful he was there with me.

We were on a class assignment. Our task was to simply sit and observe. Blend in. Just watch. Then write a paper about life in poverty cycles and addiction. I think we were actually there to learn empathy.  But right then I was just learning about boredom.

"No wonder these people do drugs. I'm so bored." I thought.

We had been sitting on the same damp corner for an hour. No book. No phone. No nothing. Our boredom was interrupted by a haggard looking grey bearded drunk man with a coke bottle filled with vodka. He offered us some. We politely declined.

"You're new here aren't you?" He demanded of us. We nodded. "Go home." He said. "I don't care how terrible it is back home, you don't want to get stuck here. Get on a bus and go back home."

He was kind.

We chatted for a bit and then his kindness continued. He said "Well you are here now so here is what you need to know. Over that way two blocks the nuns give out bread in an hour. Then the best lunch you can get around here is 5 blocks that way but you have to sit through a sermon first. Then at 2pm you can get sandwiches over there, and then for dinner there are three good options….." We listened as this expert in hunger told us exactly where we could get food.

D.T Niles once said "Evangelism is simply one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread."

I like that quote.

Evangelism has such a bad rap. It's seen as manipulating people or trying to push some religion onto them. This is sad. Because true evangelism is portrayed beautifully by this kind drunk homeless man on the streets of East Van. It's one person who is familiar with hunger telling another hungry person where the best lunch is.

There isn't much I love more then sharing my beautiful-powerful-change-your-life-love-like-you've-never-known-before- Jesus with other people who don't know Him yet. I am filled with joy when I can share the good news with the lost and lonely that they have a Father with a home  and a family waiting for them if they want Him.  

Not because I manipulate people. Not because I'm arrogant and think I know more then they do. Not because I think they are wrong or need to change…… just because I'm one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.

Shut up I know this is sappy

Lotion? Did I pack lotion already? Oooh! Sunscreen! The forecast says it will be hot!

I mumble and bumble around my condo packing for my week long trip to Calgary. I'm going over the opening line for my talk…. "Following Jesus is easy...said no one ever." and stressing about this and that.
Honestly I've never been so intimidated for a talk before.

First off, they are flying me in to share this message, so I feel like it has to be really quite profound to be worth the expense on their part. Gah! Stress feels like peanut butter in my veins.  (Shut up, it's not the best analogy, but I'm stressed out ok!)
Secondly I'll be speaking to over 400 leaders, pastors, teachers and faithful Jesus followers from all over the world. Representatives from over 26 countries will be there. Three languages. I'll be using three translators.
I haven't used a translator in years.

The last time I used a translator when speaking I was 17 and Elsie Welch had taken me under her wing and brought me with her to Central America. Man those were good times. I learned so much. I was so lucky to go along!

As I continued to pack my bag I thought about all those that have blessed and mentored me. I put in my  10 pairs of socks (gotta bring extra!) and my four pairs of shoes (shut up, that's me leaving 2 behind that I really want to bring.) and I thought about what else I'm bringing with me. I'm packing the experience that Elsie gave me, the opportunity that Danny and Andy gave me when they brought me on staff with YFC when others may have thought I was too young. I'm bringing the wisdom of Iona who has mentored me for years and allowed me a front seat to her work. I'm bringing the affirmation of Michele who saw me and believed in me when I was only 15 and just getting my wings. I'm packing the legacy of my parents and grandparents who brought me up to stand on their shoulders.

I throw in one more pair of shoes and think on all those who pray and support me in my ministry today and how I wouldn't be here doing this without them. Their confidence in God's hand on me gives me the confidence I need to zip this suitcase up and go.

My suitcase is full, and I don't feel as alone anymore. Because it's not just me being flown out there to give this message today…it's all those that I bring with me.

Thank you to everyone who have and continue to walk with me. Pray for me as I share this message tomorrow.

I love you all,

-Carmen

For the Fatherless. For the Motherless.

I wept. This video released tears of grief and hope in me.


My heart continues to break for the Fatherless and the Motherless children around me. For the abandoned and neglected children. Whether they be 13 or 30, 6 or 60 we are all children.

And I know that there is hope for the lonely.

My God calls Himself the Father to the Fatherless. And He is a good Papa.

Psalm 68:5 

"Father of orphans,

    champion of widows,

        is God in his holy house.

God makes homes for the homeless,

    leads prisoners to freedom,

        but leaves rebels to rot in hell."

For the kids with the scars

If you want to get involved give me a shout at carmen@youthunlimited.com or donate at www.youthunlimited.com

I see what you did there

A few weeks ago I started something I'm calling "The Motivation Project". I understand that it being the beginning of a new year my little gym will be flooded with newbies trying hard to get healthy for their new year's resolutions. I am going to help.
My little gym is no more then a treadmill, stationary bike, a TV,  and a bow flex in the common room of my condo complex. But it does have one other accessory. It's a little plastic holder on the wall intended for notices to the residents of the building and the users of the gym. It is where strata puts up warnings about fire alarm testings and complaints about leaves. That sort of thing. Well I have decided to repurpose this paper holder for a more nobel purpose. I will post a new motivational quote up there every week. I chose to put up the quote "The voice inside your head that says you can't do this is a liar. -Your friendly neighbourhood motivator" See?

New story that is probably completely unrelated to The Motivation Project:

I received a mysterious voicemail from the President of ACOP Canada (ACOP is what christian's call a denomination of churches. It's simply a group of churches that all come from the same original root, like a family.) asking me to call him back. I had no idea what this could be about. Well I'm going to save you the long saga of phone tag that followed and just tell you what he wanted. He was inviting me to come and speak at ACOP's international conference in May in Calgary. 400 pastors for 26 different countries. 

I told him I would think about it.

Then I hung up the phone and laughed. Me? Really? Who am I to speak to such a crowd? And what could I possibly talk about that would make sense to 26 different cultures?

I walked to the gym still bewildered. I've only used a translator a few times before, and that was years ago! And with talking to so many different cultures, it's guaranteed that not everyone will get my jokes. Or my references. Or will understand anything I have to say! If I talk about taking a teen out to Starbucks, maybe that's offensive to some countries. Maybe others don't know what Starbucks is! 

I go onto the treadmill, where I do most of my deep thinking, and started to run still turning the challenge around in my mind. 

"I can't do it."

That's what I surmised. 

Then I looked up. There on the wall was an innocent piece of paper, put there by an ignorant foolish girl. It read "The voice in your head that says you can't do this is a liar. -Your friendly neighbourhood motivator" And I started to laugh. And laugh hard. 

I had to stop the treadmill. Laughing and running are hazardous to my ankles. 

Ok God. I see what you did there.

Funny how God (aka- your friendly neighbourhood motivator) chooses to speak to us sometimes eh? 

So on that note, I'm happy to announce that I will be speaking on "Discipling the next generation" at the ACOP international conference in Calgary in May.

It's going to be fun.

ps- God you spelled "liar" wrong.

The Saga

The crowd cheered and I felt the nervous excitement of months of planning, sacrifice, and hard work come to a head in this moment.
The Victoria Good Life Fitness Marathon. My first marathon ever.
I started to run and felt like my legs were extra heavy. Great. A dead leg day. These happen every once in a while. I just told myself the same thing I always tell myself "It's OK Carmen. How many times did you think you couldn't do it, and you did? You will do this today." By kilometre 5 it wasn't any better. "I should be warmed up by now." I thought. Around that point is where I saw my family.
All of them. (Minus Corey)
Seriously. I had a flock of fans cheering me on. More fans then any other runner by a land slide. I would need them that day.
Here is when I spotted them for the first time.

"Hey! That's me!" I shouted when I saw the big Youth Unlimited sign my father in-law was holding.

The second time I saw them I had to choke back tears. The show of love and support had me very emotional. 

The next 10km were not easy ones. Something was off. The next time I saw my family was at Kilometer 18 and they asked how it was going, I gave the thumbs down.

By kilometre 20 I was limping.

By kilometre 24 I was hobbling.

My back was out. This hasn't happened to me in over a year (since I started running regularly) and was an unhappy surprise to me. No. I'll be more honest then that.... 

It was devastating. 

I called my sister/athletic therapist on the phone and told her that I was broken and wouldn't be finishing the race today. "It's not the kind of pain you push through Kim. It's bad pain." 

She caught up to me after the turn around point and laid me out on the grass on the side of the road and started practicing various forms of torture on me. 

 People are streaming past me. Slow people. While I'm being pummelled on the side of the road in what looks like a strange mugging, I see the cop car go by. This car signals the end of the race. The roads open up again after he passes. I resigned myself to not finishing. We were making plans for a mock-race when I got home. Maybe get some youth to hold up kilometer marker signs, take some photos, and make a medal out of a crushed coke can at the end. I promised my supporters that I would run 42.2km. So I had to do it. Then we heard it...

"Thunk!" I heard it. Kim heard it. I think the whole island heard it. The sound of my hip popping back into place. I got up. Tested it. Looked at my family (who had all caught up and were with us now) and said "I think I can run." My mom says to me "You will regret it forever if you don't try." So I take off. I can see the end of the race car just under a kilometre away. I catch up. As I run past him he says "So you caught up eh?" "Yup!" I yell as I blast past him. They have shut down the water stations already, so I thank God for my camel pack. I decided to just keep running until my hip comes out again, or until they kick me off the course.

I get to Kilometre 31 and I think "I'm going to make it!" They only allow 5:30hrs to complete the marathon before they shut it down. I check my watch. I have just over an hour to do 11km. It's going to be tight. I'm slow on a regular day.

For encouragement my Mom and Dad start running beside me when they see me.

Then mom (like a sane person) peels off.

Dad doesn't.

He just keeps running with me. Eventually he hands his sweater off to the family as they drive by in the truck. He's in jeans and work boots. What a guy. We are chatting as we run and he tells me he has never run more then 5km before.

We start passing people. We get far enough ahead that the roads are no longer closed. I can start running on the road instead of the side walk again! This is encouraging.
The last 11km running with my dad were the easiest and most enjoyable of the entire marathon.

 We crossed the finish line holding hands.

 They say that the person who starts the marathon, and the person who finishes the marathon are two different people. I can testify to the truth of that statement.

Today I am more grateful for these people then I was last week. I know that a race run with others is better then a race run alone. I blubbered like a baby at Thanksgiving dinner when I tried to articulate my love and gratitude for the family God has given me. 

Thank you family for being amazing. I couldn't have finished that race without you. Looking back now, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I love you all.

WOOHOOO!!!

WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who gave to my marathon fundraiser! We had a goal of $2,100, and to date have raised $1,985! There are 2km left to buy, $50 each. If you want to donate the click here. Of course if more comes in then that then great! (But I'm not running more then 42km!)

Funds are for Momentum. Specifically to building connection packages to help my mentor team connect with their mentees. These packages will be filled with coffee gift cards, laser tag tickets, slurpee coupons, decks of cards, etc. Anything that will help the mentors connect and build relationship with their teen.

Want to meet the teens?

Here is this year's batch of Momentum students!

Thank you to everyone who donated!!! I will keep you updated with stories as things progress!

Half Way to Agony

See the blue part? That's what we've raised!

People have been really getting on board with my marathon fundraiser! So We are 52% of the way to my run. This is what it looks like...

The part in pink is what's been donated so far.

All the money is going towards providing connection packages for my mentor team. I am connecting a bunch of awesome caring adults with some of my messy teenagers. The mentors will take the teens out for coffee, a game of laser tag, bowling, whatever, and while they are there they will ask them some hard questions about life. My aim is to equip these mentors with a package full of coffee gift cards, decks of cards, tickets to different fun things to do...etc. So all the money raised from the marathon will go directly to providing these connection packages for my super duper mentor team!

Yay team!!!

We still need help! If you want to donate just click here. At this point I can give up if I'm tired after 22km. So if you want to see me agonize all the way to the end be sure to keep me accountable by buying a kilometre! $50 each.

Marathon Progress/Come Take Me Home

Thank you to all of you who have donated to my marathon fundraiser! After just a few weeks, we are 25% there!

And how is my training going? 

I'm so glad you asked!

...It's crap. 

Last Saturday I was supposed to run 32km. This would be my second time doing this distance, the longest distance that I ever do in my training. At kilometre 19 I called my husband and said...and I quote... "I don't want to do this anymore. Come take me home." 

Big. Fat. Failure. 

I was so frustrated with myself. Yes there were big hills on this run. Yes it was raining. But I've done worse before. Why did I give up this time when I kicked butt last time? One word....

Accountability.

The last time I did this long run I told people via facebook that I was going to do it. So when I wanted to give up and call for a ride home, I didn't. Because I knew that I had promised the internet that I would do it. This last weekend I didn't tell anyone that I was going for another long haul. So giving up had no public consequences. (Besides the obvious ones here now with this public confession.) 

This reminds me of my walk with God. There have been times when I've been tired. I've prayed that simple prayer "God, I don't want to do this anymore. Come take me home." But He didn't. I'm still here trucking away at following Him and working at establishing His kingdom here on earth. And I love it.

If you are tired and ready to pack it in I want to encourage you today. Create accountability for yourself. Tell a friend. Tell someone about your hopes and dreams, the things God has called you to. Whether that's committing to reading your bible everyday, or getting to know your neighbours, or whatever he has called you to. Tell someone about it and ask them to keep you accountable. That way it's harder to give up when you have someone keeping tabs on you.

Anyways. I'm off to do my run today. 7miles. (That's 11.26km.) I'll let you know how it goes! Thanks for being my accountability! 

This is me at km 21 last spring at my first half-marathon.

I may not be smiling so big on October 13th, because on October 13th I will be running my first FULL MARATHON! Let's put that in perspective shall we?

42.1km is from Vancouver to Langley

or for my islander friends....

42.1km is from Victoria to Shawnigan Lake.

So why am I doing this? I run a program called Momentum, a peer mentorship program where I have a bunch of teenagers from the high school come and volunteer at my elementary school recreation program. They will gain the volunteer hours they need to graduate while being stretched and challenged by me and my team of mentors. Each teen will meet every other week with the mentor I have hand selected (with much prayer) for them. Their mentor will ask them questions, listen to them, pour into them their own wisdom, and, if the teen is ok with it, pray for them. I am so excited to see this happen. This is what I've been doing one-on-one with teens for the past 5 years. Now instead of just me working with my dozen or so teens, I am multiplying my impact by mobilizing and connecting dozens of adults to work with many more teens. The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few right?

In order to help my mentors be the best mentors they can be, I'm providing them with "Mentor Packages" (Creative name right?) In it will be Tim Hortons gift cards, a deck of playing cards, admission tickets to the batting cage and castle fun park...etc. This will help them connect with their teen in fun ways without breaking the bank. I estimate these packages will cost about $2,000 to put together. Momentum is only limited by volunteers and finances...because I have more student applications then I know what to do with! 

So back to the marathon. I am fundraising for Momentum by way of my marathon. I'm asking for people to sponsor me for each kilometre, $50 per. I already have sponsors for the first 6 kilometres! So that leaves 36 yet to be claimed. 

Will you sponsor Momentum via my marathon? Ask me for details or go to www.youthunlimited.com and click "donate" then fill out the appropriate fields. Be sure to say "Carmen Rempel marathon" in the "Give to the program or staff member" field. 

I'll keep you updated on my training and the fundraiser progress here!

Today a Loaf of Bread Almost Made Me Cry

Today I went to go speak at Regent Christian Academy in Surrey. My connection with that place is a few friends of mine who worked at the same camp (Anvil Island) as me this past summer. One of those friends introduced me to the crowd. He did the usual thing of telling who I am and what I do and who I'm married to and all that. But then he did something very very special. He gave me a loaf of Moreno's garlic swiss bread.

This is my favourite bread.

He said "Carmen we got this for you because last summer in one of your sermons you talked about being the aroma of Christ in the world, and you used Moreno's bread as your example. So we thought of you, and thought we should get you some of that bread that you went on and on about."

I was touched.

They remembered! Today I was greatly encouraged by this gift of a loaf of bread because these camp friends not only remembered my object lesson for one of my messages, but they actually remembered the lesson!

Most of the time I think that the words I preach go in one ear and out the other....and today these wonderful, beautiful people went all the way to the bakery to prove to me otherwise.

Thank you friends.

A Dream, A Call

Last night I had a dream. And I’ve been singing ever since. Not a happy song. No. (And that’s odd for me.) It’s a deep song. A song that wells up from the deepest part of me and leaks out in non-rhyming verses with unsteady rhythm while I’m alone.

I was in a field. A field full of young people. Hundreds, if not thousands. There were adults there too. Caring adults. Youth leaders, parents, youth workers...etc. We were all wandering aimlessly around in this field, seemingly waiting for something to begin. 

Then they dissapeared.

The youth. 

They vanished. They dissolved really. I knew, in the way that you can only know things in dreams, that they had vanished into death. Us caring adults were left in an empty field, grieving for the lost young people. 

But it didn’t stop there.

We began to sing. Us caring adults. It started slow and deep, just a few voices. Then more and more voices joined in, and as we sang the song grew stronger. There was an electricity in the air. The song rose in a loud clamor towards God in heaven. “Have mercy! Jesus Christ! Have mercy on us!” We cried in unison. 

And then the ground began to rumble. In one little patch. The earth began to pulse. And front of our eyes, to the sound of desperate singing, she arose from the earth. She. Back from the dead. Still with the dust shaking off of her, confused innocence in her eyes, still with the breath of God in her lungs...she lived.

She was only the first. The ground rumbled, and the song changed to a song of victory as all the young people were returned to us. 

Ezekiel 37:4-10 “Then he said to me, “Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Thus says the Lord God to these bones; Behold I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live.”.... SO I prophesied as I was commanded and as I prophesied there was s sound, and behold a rattling. and the bones came together, bone to its bone. And I looked, and behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them. But there was no breath in them. Then he said to me “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, Thus says the Lord God; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live. So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army.”

If this story stirs your heart to pray, then pray. Please join me in a time of intercession for the youth of our city.

Is Life Just Hard?

Ok. So here's the deal. Last week I was at a ladies conference and it was excellent. As part of the weekend we listened to a panel of ladies who have overcome much. Loss. Divorce. Death. Mental illness, and all the nice things like anxiety and shame that go along like a side dish to the already full plate of struggle for these poor women. They were inspiring as they told their powerful stories of how they fought through it with God's help. I went away with one question.

Is life just hard?

I work with at-risk kids and their families so I understand that my view of the world may be effected by that perspective. I'm surrounded by hurting people all day and then go home and put on the news and hear stories that make me scared to be at home alone. So I have begun to wonder if this is all life is. Inevitable suffering.

Don't get me wrong.

I know that life has awesome things to offer. I have lots of amazing things and my life is filled with so much joy every day. I'm not sad here...I'm just wondering if one day I will have to suffer. Like it's inevitable. I'm followed by this terrible feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. This joy can't last. I'm willing to admit that I may be wrong. I hope for it actually. Hence this little blog post. I'm taking an in-formal survey. If you are over 30 years old and have not suffered much, let me know. I want to hear about it. Does everyone who lives on this planet have to under go some great trial? Or are there a lucky few who escape and lead trauma-free lives? If this describes you. Let me know. I will write a follow up to this post based on the responses I get. Until then!

Grown to Last Fail

"Grown to last Guarantee my foot!" ya...I can kill anything. These 4 inch roses that claimed to be able to last for a minimum of 4 weeks died a slow painful death in my office in 3. I didn't ignore them either. I watered them faithfully. Can you over-water plants? huh, shows how much I know. The good news is I feel no compassion for these plants. I don't give a rip about them or their feelings. The reason for me being upset is only because they lied to me. Stupid lying roses. It's harder to take when people do this. Wither away in front of you. As a youth worker I spend my time caring for people. I buy them coffee, listen to them, comfort them, encourage them. Lots of times this has a good result in happier healthier people. Sometimes it doesn't. So how does a youth worker deal with failure like that?

It's all about success.

How you define it, I mean. 1john 4:19 says "We love because He (meaning God) first loved us." Note that this passage doesn't say "We love so that people get better." Or "We love so that the world changes." No. No. No. There is no "so that". There is only a "because of". If you change your idea of what success is to being "Did I love because Christ first loved me today?" instead of "Did that person change?" you will be over all more encouraged and successful. This will allow yourself to grow and thrive! If you work with people and feel yourself withering away right along side those that you care for, remember why you care. Remember your purpose. And then get right back out there in the spirit of Because Of.

An Explanation of The Cross of Jesus, The One Called Christ

I read of a God of justice. A God who looks at this broken world full of pain and hurt and wrong doing, and He grieves. He weeps and the Holy Spirit intercedes with deep groaning for us. Then this grieving God takes action and punishes the wicked and cruel. He repairs the brokenness of the world with fire. He is like a potter putting unfinished clay vessels into the furnace, or like a metalsmith refining gold with fire. There is suffering, there is justice. Recompense for evil actions taken by evil people. Whole countries getting what they deserve. A God of justice bringing justice.

I read of a God of love. A God who made people in His image and loves them with a depth that none can imagine. A God who looks at this world and smiles at what he sees. He rejoices and delights in the people He has made. Then this joy filled God takes action and provides adventure and fun and beauty for his people to enjoy. He is like a Father playing in the back yard with His children, or like a big brother who teaches his siblings the joys of bike riding and catching butterflies. There is joy, there is love. Love that knows no bounds pours out over the entire world in sunshine and song and dance. A loved people being lavished on by a God of love. A God of love being loving.

I read that this God of justice and this God of love are one in the same. A heart ripped in two by a need to see justice done, and love for those whom justice would punish. How are these two attributes of God reconciled? At the cross. The place where Jesus willingly died for the sake of the people who he loved. Where the justice of God came down, but came down on the one head that didn’t deserve it. Jesus, the one called Christ, took on his body and soul the punishment for a world filled with injustice. In doing this He freed the beloved people from their deserved punishment so that they might enjoy the beauty that they were created to live in for eternity.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son, that none should parish, but all could have eternal life.”

Why am I still surprised?

2 chronicles 7:14 “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked says, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” A prayer made in humility is a prayer quickly answered by God. For “He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (Proverbs 3:34) This is the lesson I learned yet again this week. I woke up on Sunday morning, in my Grandparents house, anxious. I was staying there because that day I was going to Saltspring Island to speak at my home church there. Waking up at 5am because of nervousness I rolled over and fell back asleep. That’s when the dreams started. I dreamt that the support for my ministry with Youth Unlimited dried up. Everyone stopped giving. I was left doing this work alone. So I was forced to return to work as a waitress. (Shudder.) I thought that I was done with that purgatory in my life. I woke up again when my alarm went off and this time I was anxious about two things. About speaking that morning, and about my financial situation. See the thing is that my dream wasn’t unfounded. I have had a growing concern about my fundraising account for the past 6 months or so as my expenses have increased and the inflow of giving hasn’t. With all of this bouncing around my head I cried out to Jesus saying “God, I have a job to do today. I have a message to deliver that I believe you have given me for this church today. I can’t have this anxiety distracting me from what I came here to do. So please take it from me. And ps- please bring in more money. Amen.” I went to the Island, delivered my message and it was very well received. I had only been back at my grandparents house for a few hours that afternoon when my Uncle handed me a check increasing their support of our ministry. WOW. Talk about immediate answer to prayer! And get this... my Uncle said to me. “Ya, I’ve been planning on sending this in for a while now, I just haven’t gotten around to it. So I figured I could just give it to you and you can take it in to head office yourself.” WOW again. Dear Uncle I know exactly why you “never got around” to it earlier. Because you were intended by an all-knowing God to hand it to me that day, to glorify Him. To show that He is powerful. To show that He knows all of our concerns and is willing and able to help. Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

The Wolves Inside

Most of the time as a youth worker I feel that my teenagers never listen to a word I say. So I was pleasantly surprised last week when, in the middle of our conversation, one of my teens explained to me how she made a decision recently; "Well I was just thinking about what you said that one time..about the wolves inside us..." Huh, no kidding. That's awesome! She was remembering a story that I had told her a while back when we were talking about giving our lives to Jesus one day at a time, one piece of our hearts at a time. It's a great little story, so I thought I would share it here as well.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

12 Long Stemmed Roses, A Ring, and 10 Million Dollars

I heard this story today... There was a girl named Jen who was working at a YWAM base in Hawaii. At church one Sunday a visiting preacher was talking about blind Bart. A story about Jesus healing a blind man. In the story blind Bart calls out to Jesus, and Jesus turns and yells back "What do you want?" Bart says "I want to see." And Jesus heals him. Pretty awesome story. This preacher guy asked the church congregation on that Sunday morning, "What do you want?" This YWAM girl prayed in her head "Jesus, I want a dozen peach long stemmed roses, and a ring to put on my finger so I can look at it and remember that you love me." I can't remember if it was a few days or a few hours later, but nonetheless a flower shop van pulled up the the YWAM base. They man in the van went to the lady at the counter and said "Hey, we accidentally ordered way too many flowers. Could you use them here?" The lady at the counter was very excited to get 12 bunches of 12 dozen peach long stemmed roses. She had a key to Jen's room. The desk lady thought it would be nice to leave a bunch of the roses in Jen's room. So she put them on her dresser, and thought it would be funny to leave a note. So she left a note saying "To Jen. I love you. Signed, Jesus Christ." A few days later this same girl was out to dinner with a few of her supporters. They presented her with a little box. What was inside? A diamond ring that had been in their family for years and they had felt led to give to her.

wow

So here this girl was, with a diamond ring and 12 peach colored long-stemmed roses with a note from GOD. So what did Carmen learn from this story? I looked towards heaven, and with all sincerity I prayed "Jesus, I want a dozen peach long stemmed roses, a diamond ring, and 10 million dollars for my ministry. Amen." As I kept talking to God I realized that my prayer was a bit irresponsible. If I continue to do this work with Youth Unlimited for the next 45 years I will not have used up 10 million dollars. So I thought about how long I knew I will be here for. I only see life one step at a time, and I can only be sure that I will be here for another year. So what money could I use in my ministry in the next year? 10 thousand. That would do. So I changed my prayer to wanting 10 thousand dollars to be donated. I am writing this out so that you can journey with me as this story continues to unfold! Stay tuned to hear something like "I just got an anonymous check for..." or "wow can you believe I found a lottery ticket on the ground and..." or "I was caught in a flash mob and ten thousand people just walked up to me and gave me a dollar!" I don't know how God is going to do it. But I'm confident and silly enough to believe that the God who gives a girl in Hawaii flowers and a ring with a note will give me enough money to make all my dreams for this ministry come true in the next year. Alonzy Alonzo!