Happy Birthday

It was at our thursday night dinner last week that we ate ice cream cake and sang happy birthday to one of our core kids. I got all choked up looking around the room at all the faces singing away. This has become a family. We have hurt together, and laughed together, and now we were celebrating together. It was touching. The sister of the birthday girl made up a video tribute to her older sister. Pictures, music, and touching words all together made us laugh and cry. At the end of the video the words flashed onto the screen "and thank you to those of you who have helped us become this way... you know who you are." Then a picture of me and this girl flashed onto the screen. Then her with my two coworkers. I stopped trying to hide my tears.
This is mostly a thankless job, but when thanks does come, it is so sweet.

At the bottom and alone

Today as the staff of Langley Youth For Christ we brain stormed about what life is made up of. We put down words on a peice of paper like "purpose" and "community" and "friends" and "adventure", "family" "friends" "hope" "faith" "love" and "meaning". Then we took turns thinking about different teens we work with and crossed off the words that they dont have. It was down right depressing. Black ink crossing out family and friends and hope and purpose. There were very few words left when we were done. All of the assets to life that we thought were nessicary these kids dont have. Then we went through and thought about which of those words we can provide for these teens. Love, commiunity, friendship, adventure, those are some, but the rest of them we cant give, we can only point the way to faith and hope and learning and growth. It all seems so inadiquite when looking at that black smeared paper. The picture it left was one of hopelessnes and lonelyness. And all I have to offer is to point out the right direction. That would get depressing, if the voice of Jesus wasnt waiting to ambush me as soon as I got into my car after that meeting.

For christmas my husband got me the bible on cd so i can listen to it in my car when I drive. When I got into my car the words of Jesus were liturally shouting at me "Dont you remember how many baskets full of bread you picked up after I fed the 5000? Dont you get it? How long will you be not understanding?"
Because this has always been the situation. These kids have always been at the bottom alone with not much going for them, but we have incredable stories of God doing miriacles in their lives. Victory stories of hope living in hopeless situations, of faith blossoming in kids that had none, meaning and purpose coming to the lives of teens who were desolate.

Remember the baskets full of bread.

the new year

the new year is a great time for new beginnings. People are looking to the future, moving on from the past. its a time for letting go, and for reaching up. I spent today contacting some kids I haven't seen since Christmas break, touching base, hearing stories of Christmas.
i blogged before about how Christmas can be a tough time for kids, and it was. there was however good news too. three times today I had kids surprise me by saying "actually, Christmas was good."
So thanks to all of you who have been praying, it helped.
I dont know what surprises this new year holds, but I walk towards them with faith that God knows what He is doing and will give me the words I need to share. My prayer is that this would be a year of healing after 2009 being a year of change.

broken families show their brokenness under the Christmas lights

"I'll be home for Christmas, oh crap."
Thats the general feel for a lot of the teens i work with. "Christmas is coming, will i survive it?" Broken families really show their brokenness in the Christmas lights, having to go to 3 different Christmas dinners full of fighting and stress, being bounced around from parent to parent. Being at home for the holidays is supposed to be a happy time. no school, you get to stay at home, eat cookies and drink egg nogg. Its supposed to be a happy time. So the fact that its not, makes being at home worse then usual.
On Saturday a young girl called me in tears really upset, so I went with my husband and picked her up from her home. We took her to our place to just hang out for the afternoon. I just wanted her to be able to be in a peaceful home with a loving environment for a few hours. We had lunch and chatted.
I wish I could take them all in for the holidays but I cant. So please join me in praying for these teens. Pray that they would find peace and joy despite their circumstances.

crack berry ministry and sinking sand

the other day I had a long conversation throughout an evening with a teen over blackberry messenger. we talked for hours. She came to me asking for help because her world was falling apart. this drama has happened several times before and this situation she was going thru was simply a repeat of what happened a couple months ago. Each time she gets rocked, each time it just about kills her.

I told her a story of two men, one who built his house on the sand, and one who built his house on a big rock. The storm came and the house on the sand fell apart, and the house on the rock stood firm, it may have a few broken windows, but it was still safe and dry. i asked her what her foundation was, she told me about how she relies on her friends and family "You see, thats the problem, you need something more steadfast then people. you need something trustworthy and eternal to be your rock. Because people are shifting sand."
I sent her away to think about what that could be.

the dark side of craigs list

here is a post from one of my co-workers Derian from a few weeks ago. His blog is Monuments & Melodies and the link can be found on my page:

She's fifteen now. She began dabbling with drugs and alcohol earlier than most. Her friend introduced her to pot. She introduced her friend to Crystal Meth. Now they both work in the sex trade.

She had a long history of running away. She came in and out of our lives. We got calls when she was in trouble and when she wanted to avoid the consequences of her choices.

We picked her up from a house, late one night, in a drug induced mental breakdown--hallucinating terrible demonic things. As the drugs wore off, she began to sing with the music playing in the background--Life Song by Casting Crowns... "Let my lifesong sing to you..." Tears welled up in my eyes, I think I saw Jesus, even for just a brief moment. Not too long after she disappeared.

Months later she called us. Her boyfriend was in jail. She was working as an escort. She seemed strangely detached from the horror of her profession. She voiced no desire to get out. The drugs (now it was crack) were all that she cared about.

A few days later photos of her ad's were found on craigslist. The police began investigating. Arrest warrants were issued.

We received messages from her on facebook suggesting she wanted out. We set up a meet but she never showed. Finally she was arrested. She said all the right things. She was release on bail. Maybe she would make it? We weren't sure she was serious but can you give up hope? If we could just get her into a detox program. She said she wanted out; she disappeared a few days later.

She was arrested again last week. She was released and disappeared the next day...

all i want for christmas

tears. so many tears in this season. I think its because everyone knows that Christmas is supposed to be happy, so when its not it feels worse. Thats been the story with the teens i work with as of late. But last night I listened to tears of thankfulness as a teen told me about her Christmas miracle.
Family hasn't been an easy thing for the past few years for this girl, the tension in the home getting progressively worse.
"I havent called him daddy since i was a little girl..."
She was telling me a story about how her dad left a note on the fridge, a note saying that he doesn't want the family to fall apart, that he wants to try. A shocking, tear jerking change. She hugged him and called him daddy.
"If I could get my daddy back for Christmas, that would be amazing. Even if they take our house,whatever, if it meant that i could have him back, that would be a good Christmas."