I Am Everyone Else

It was snowing outside. With keys in my hand I leaned over the receptionist's desk and told Shari, “You know how when it’s snowing people say “I’m comfortable with my driving, it’s everyone else on the road that scares me.” Well...” She laughs and completes my sentence with “You are the everyone else, eh?” I laugh along, but let out a nervous twitch as I watch those little white flakes of doom continue to fall from the sky. “It’s true. I’m the everyone else. I suck at driving in the snow, and so as a favor to the rest of humanity, I’m going home before this snow starts to stick.”
I am everyone else. That’s the phrase that stuck with me as I drove home, gripping the steering wheel with an iron grip, suspicious that it was about to develop a mind of its own and crash us into the nearest available solid object. I am everyone else. Hmmm...
It’s anti-bullying day today. Bullying is awful. It’s existed forever, this is no new problem, but it has transformed a bit. It’s expanded and developed to be a tech-savvy creature. The most recent incident I encountered with bullying was when one of my teens showed me a text messaging conversation she had had over the weekend. The content was unbelievable. Then she showed me the advertisement that bully had put up on craigslist. It had her picture, her name and phone number. This girl had to change her phone number because she was getting phone calls from “Johns” looking to buy sex. This is bullying.
There are three roles in the bullying scenario. The first is the victim. The second is the bully. The third, and most important role, is everyone else. If everyone who witnessed bullying in it’s different forms stood up and stopped it, bullies would have a much more difficult time. As you walk by the park and see three little boys being mean to a fourth kid, do you walk on and mind your own business? Yes you do. Of course you do. We all do. We are the everyone else. That’s our role.
This is a call out to Everyone Else. Let’s take our role more seriously. Get Involved. Be a nosey neighbor. (If everyone had nosey neighbors domestic abuse would be much less common, but that’s another rant for another snow day.) Refuse to stay silent and watch. At the mall, in Tim Hortons, on the side of the road where your car is stuck in a snow bank, wherever you are, Get Involved. Speak Up. I dare you.

you aren't as important as you think you are. The End.

This is a devotional I wrote for my church's 40 days of lent. I decided to share it with all of you too.

Mark 4:26-29

He also said, “this is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain-first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

News Flash: You aren’t as important as you think you are. The end.

Just kidding.

Seriously now, we all think we are so darn important. I was taught that since kindergarten. The message we hear over and over goes something like this, “You are special! Just like everyone else.” A survey I read recently said that teenagers have a huge sense of importance, and directly related to that, they have a huge sense of failure. The expectation that “you are special” puts tons of pressure on our shoulders to be important. That can be overwhelming!
Here in Mark 4 I hear Jesus telling me to relax. Because whether I’m up and about, or laying sick in bed, HE is out doing HIS work. It’s His kingdom to build, and He is. With me, or without me. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t an excuse to stay in bed and avoid going out there and getting your hands dirty. It’s an invitation to do exactly that! Jesus invites us to partake, to play a role in his Kingdom, but to remember that it’s just a role, and it’s His show.
The Holy Spirit is out there right now bringing the kingdom of God to earth in the hearts and minds of people everywhere....care to join Him?

Apprentice of 'Splode-sation

I wear a jacket around the community with the words "Youth Worker" on the back. This way when I'm seen in public hanging out with teenagers the adults know that I'm a positive influence and not a drug dealer. It describes what I do and is a great conversation starter in the grocery store line up or while waiting for the elevator. I like my jacket even though it is four hundred sizes too big for me.

Sitting at home thinking about Jesus I wondered what he would have written on the back of his jacket if he had one. Would it say "Hope"? How about "Life"? Maybe be even "Disturber of the peace". Other words come to mind as I think about who Jesus has been to me in my life. Words like "Healer" and "Friend" and some word I can think of but has something to do with that feeling you get when you cant stop laughing. I want to say "Joy" but that word seems so....flat. I'm talking about that sensation of sides hurting, tears streaming, can't breath, can't see, choking on laughter explosion feeling. Maybe I'll make up a word...umm.. 'splode-sation.
It's my 'splode-sation to follow Jesus and so maybe I should change my jacket to something more like his? "Follower of Hope" or "Fan of Healer" or "Stalker of Life" .
There is more to it then that though. I want to be like him. So I could be "imitator of the disturber of the peace" or "apprentice of 'splode-sation".
Those are getting to be a bit long. I'll stick with "Youth Worker". If you have an idea I would love to hear your comments!

Triage

Today I heard Youth work be compared to triage. That really resonated with me. There are so many hurting people in the world who need the love of Christ and there are only so many hours in a day. I posted about this a couple years ago (see "A Day In The Life" post) and it still rings true today. Last week I had to decide if I should stay in the coffee shop with one teen who was going through a really hard time generally in life, or leave immediately and go help the girl who just texted me saying her mom had hit her. Both hurting, both in need of love. I make these choices of who gets my attention on a daily basis. I try to be everywhere for everyone and am always falling short of others expectations. Those girls I spend time with me regularly know that if they want to go for coffee with me and it's not an immediate emergency of some kind, that I will book them a time about one or two weeks in the future. Then I go to some conference somewhere and some guy on stage tells me to remember to come home with enough emotional space left to be a good spouse. Plus there are friends that I would like to see and family. Yup, it's triage. I have been in the past and still am at fault for not giving enough time to my friends and family because I'm dealing with crisis after crisis. So they get bumped down the triage list to somewhere at the bottom over and over again. They have been so very good to me! So understanding! Thank you everyone.

Having been working in the triage type method for the past 4 years however has taught me somethings. My definition of what an emergency is has changed dramatically. I used to think that if someone was crying it was an emergency and I needed to drop whatever I was doing and attend to them. Now however, if someone says it's an emergency they had better be bleeding or considering making themselves bleed seriously. THAT I consider it to be an emergency. And in the case of that sort of emergency I should not be the one called. Emergency personnel such as the RCMP or the paramedics should be called anyways.
The other thing I have learned is that there are very few things that must be talked about at 3am that can not be talked about at 9am the next day. Along with that things are usually better talked about at 9am then at 3am anyways.
So my triage methods have changed, and consequently I find myself with much more time for my husband, friends, and family. I could say that I wished people would have told me this years ago....but they did. I just had to learn it for myself.

The Tears Say it All

In a week of trying to calm down teens who think they are pregnant, talking to the Ministry concerning an abusive home situation, and generally feeling overwhelmed by the needs of the teens around me I did experience one light of encouragement this week. I was sitting in a coffee shop (surprise surprise) with one teen that is especially dear to my heart. We were talking about some tough things in her life and I mentioned that I wish I were a therapist or a councillor so that I could help her along the road to healing. As I am not a councillor I can only take her so far before I am over my head. I'm a youth worker. I can walk with kids, but I can't provide them with concealing services when they need them. I can refer them to councillors and be a support to them while they go, but that's it. The girl spoke up and said "But you are better then a therapist because...because..." and then she started to tear up. Her emotion spoke deeply to my heart. In that moment I caught a glimpse of how significant of a role I play in this teen's life. I was touched and honoured and I thanked her. Then we went back to talking about silly things like what vehicle you would like to be if you were one, and dissecting the plot of a movie that just came out. In the face of overwhelming need and constantly feeling like whatever I do is not enough, it's good to hold these moments close and be warmed and refreshed by them. I do make a difference. I do have importance. I can keep going. And I would be a mini-cooper or a red bike with a basket and a bell, just in case you were wondering. :)

give me my innocent suicidal kids

I was driving home after a very very long day of work. I was in a new place, with new kids that day. These kids made me think that I had never really met a real at-risk kid before in my life. There had been an incident where I witnessed some disturbing domestic violence. The RCMP were involved and I went home feeling sickened by the whole incident. Many of the teens I work with have experienced abuse. Physical, sexual, emotional, and every other kind you can think of. I've sat there in Starbucks hearing their stories, feeling empathy for them, helping them along the path to healing, but I've never had to watch it happen before. As you can imagine this was difficult for me. Please don't be concerned for me. These things are supposed to be difficult.

The day I become numb to these stories is the day I quit being a youth worker.

The difference between these kids I met that day and the kids I usually work with is that my kids take their pain out on themselves. They cut themselves, they try to kill themselves, they don't eat and don't sleep. They are depressed and suffer from anxiety. But they've never stabbed anyone. They haven't done jail time. These new kids are suffering the same pain. But instead of taking it out on themselves like I'm used to....they take it out on anyone who gets in their way. When I got home and debriefed my day with my husband I said "Just give me my innocent, suicidal, depressed kids! They are easy to handle." We both listened to the echo of what I just said in our heads, and started to laugh. I went for a run, showered off the day, wrote up a critical incident report, and by then the feeling of God's hope had replaced the feeling of sickness. God is good. It is well with my soul. I'm going back tomorrow.

Taco Bell

There is a commercial I saw the other day that starts with a man looking intently into the camera and demanding more of life, not satisfied with the status quo, wanting more then what the world has previously offered, and this man was willing to do something about it. Then he orders a taco at Taco Bell. It made me laugh, but it also made me very very sad. I see this exact mentality all over. In the news there are riots for no particular reason, on the streets there are kids getting into trouble, in the smoke pit at the high school they are telling stories of rebellion from the weekend before. This generation is feeling restless. They want something to fight for because they are....bored. Rebels without a cause. I have good news! I have a cause you can fight for! For peace and justice in this world. Fight for love and equality! Fight for safe streets! Fight for our elderly that are being forgotten! Fight for the unfortunate! "Defend the cause of the weak and the Fatherless, maintain the rights of the poor and the opressed, rescue the week and the needy and deliver them from the hand of the wicked."Psalms 82:3 We were never meant to stay idle. We were not made to live without work or war. But let us choose carefully what we war against. Injustice? Or burgers?